so i have deleted my friendster, change my blog url, don't go online anymore and some other things. i don't feel myself any longer after what had happened. i can't forgive myself for doing such a stupid and childish thing. i can't face him anymore. i am so embarassed of what i had done. it is the most stupidest thing that anyone could think of.
and how cowardly of me to blame it on her. well, after a long time thinking, i think i am the one to be blame for all this. i should not have agreed at the first place. i could easily said no but i just played along which in the end brought me to this mess. and now she left me without giving me a helping hand, but just laugh at my stupidity. she was once i called a friend that can be trusted, a best friend. but i was totally wrong. she was not there to comfort me when i was in deep shit but just laugh.
so i guess i had made a very big mistake to place all my trust on her. doesn't that shows how stupid i am? is it not obvious? there is nothing i can do now but just go on with the flow. face all the troubles all by myself, alone. i guess i had learnt a lesson... never trust a person that easily. maybe there is no such thing as more than good friends. best friends won't be forever. true friends are hard to find. only the lucky ones will find them.
i think that is life. full of challenges. happy and sad moments. if everything is perfect, what is the use of living right? even the president have their own problems. nobody is perfect. every problem has its solution. and i have to find for mine. there is no use to cry over a spilled milk. no use regreting. it is all in the past. i can't do anything to change time. comming suicide? i thought of that but thinking back, is that why i live in this world for? babies that are aborted by their mothers want to live in this beautiful world but they did not have a chance. we, the ones who are lucky enough to be brought to this world, enjoy the scenery, beauty and enjoy life just want to end it like that when a slight problem strike us. appreciate what we have. don't take things for granted. there are other people who is facing so much more than us but not complaining.
you've got a long way to go from 4:47 PM
